March 13, 2003

• I am not a deep person…well, actually, it’s more like I do not think deep thoughts.  Is that the same thing? (ooh deep question) I read all these people’s xangas and some of them are pretty deep…even those who are younger than me, and who have experienced less than me.  It makes me feel stupid.  I TRY TRY TRY to blog a deep blog…but I have nothing deep to say.  Sometimes, when I eat lunch with my coworkers, they’ll engage in deep conversation about deep matters and I’m sitting there like YUMMY, this cheeseburger’s good…and then I’ll think about the possibility of getting gas later on that day from the cheese.

  
  

  What is wrong with me? Shouldn’t I be deep?  I’m almost a quarter of a century years old…I should have deep thoughts, no?  I should be pondering things like ‘why is the world messed up’ and ‘what is true beauty’ and the ever so popular ‘who am I’ …and other deep things that I hear people discussing.  Whenever people start talking about deep shtuff like that, I don’t even try to put my brain in deep-mode…the first thing I think is ‘who cares?’.  Is that bad?

  
  

  Have you ever met someone who has deep theories about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING?  I’ve met so many of these people.  And when I talk to them, first i think, ‘who cares?’ then I think ‘how do they think of that?’  Like i would never see myself thinking so deeply about things…it almost hurts me to have to do that.  I never understood people who can stand in front of paintings and analyze it for hours…meanwhile i’m like um…oooh pretty colors.  Or people who read poetry and try to figure out exactly what the author meant when he put together a string of random words.  

  
  

  Mebbe that’s why I’m not an artist…or an english major…and that’s why I’m a scientist.  I can see trends with my eyes closed…I can explain how you get DNA from DNA and how you get proteins from DNA in DETAIL…and i can do math WITHOUT a calculator…yeah, check that.  I guess science people find it harder to think DEEP thoughts.  Or mebbe it’s just me.  Mebbe it’s just too much work for me to think deep thoughts.  I think it’s too much work just to think of synonomous words to replace the word “deep”…since it’s not good English to use the same phrasing over and over again.  I guess I could have used “profound”…or I could have used Microsoft  Word’s thesaurus…but it’s too late now…i’m not going to go back and change all my “deep”s to its possible synonyms. 

  
  

  Anyhow, the bottom line is, I don’t think PROFOUND thoughts.  And when i first started blogging this blog, I thought I cared.  But actually, now I’m thinking, who cares?

  • 3:28 pm
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